


Pretense

by kuonji



Category: Starsky & Hutch
Genre: Angst, Backstory, Character Study, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2012-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-12 00:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/484713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuonji/pseuds/kuonji
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>He half expected something to stop him as he put his pen to the paper. </em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pretense

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Never Again](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/10864) by Nicky Gabriel. 



> Alternative Links:  
> <http://starskyhutch911.livejournal.com/421647.html>

He half expected something to stop him as he put his pen to the paper. The room remained quiet, however. No urgent telephone call interrupted him. No fire broke out. No Russian spies took the building hostage. His medium-point black ballpoint Bic stayed steady -- remarkably so -- until the last ignorant flourish of the 'y'.

He gusted out a sigh and dropped the betraying instrument atop the open folder on his desk. It was several moments before he could gather up the papers and heave himself out of his chair like a man twice his age. He kept his eyes carefully averted from the clutter on the desk opposite his as he did so.

Coming out of the personnel office, he passed the new candy machine that he always had to fight to ignore. He was two steps past it today when he stopped and thought, Why not? Why the hell _not_?

He dug through his pockets and produced a nickel and two dimes. He popped the coins in and he made his choice quickly, pulling the knob with fierce relish.

Two candy bars dropped out instead of one.

He stared for a long moment. Then he put one in his front pocket before he tore the other open and took a big bite.

***

The sound of his name caught him as he was washing his hands. Quickly, he turned off the water, and he listened hard, holding his hands aloft so his fingers dripped over the sink.

"--way they are, something had to happen sooner or later."

"That's cold, man."

"But true! They took on more than they should've. Even their captain wasn't too sure."

"Well, if he had backed them up, maybe one of his men wouldn't have wound up dead."

The last word came loud and clear as the door opened.

There was a shocked silence, broken only by the door banging shut and the water once again running on full. He looked up, as if just noticing the two men. "Hi, fellas," he greeted casually, and moved to pump out a length of paper towel. He took their stammered replies in stride and left without giving any indication that he had overheard them.

***

The paperwork must have gone through at light speed, because his captain called him up at the end of the day. He nodded at the right places and, at the end, he took the hand that was offered.

"Congratulations, son."

"Yes, sir," he replied. He couldn't say 'thank you'.

He drove home slowly, observing all the traffic rules, and he detoured carefully around the traffic at 5th and Townsend where the butcher shop was.

Wearily, he dragged himself out of the car and into his house, where he was met by an excited yell and an armful of happy child. He held his son to him for a moment, and he thought of a little girl, with light hair instead of dark, and big brown eyes. Would she still call him 'Uncle' now, he wondered?

He went to the kitchen, and he kissed his wife. He told her what he had done today, and she looked back at him with sober eyes.

"You deserve it, dear," she said. Then, after a second's hesitation, "It'll be good to have you off the streets."

He grunted his agreement, letting her pretend he had done it for her. For his family. He let her pretend that he was still capable of keeping anyone from harm.

"What's for dinner?" he asked, trying to drum up some spirit for what smelled like spiced chicken soup cooked with pasta, one of his favorite dishes.

Instead of answering, she cupped his face with her rough, gentle hands. "You'll be the best lieutenant your men have ever seen. I know you will." She kissed him gently on the temple. "Elmo would have wanted it."

He felt something starting to thaw and break apart inside of him. "Yeah," he said gruffly. "Yeah, maybe." He pulled her close and buried his face in her hair, and he promised in his heart that he was going to do his damned best to live up to her prediction.

  
END.

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  If you enjoyed this story, you might try these:    
>      [Knowing](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/227903.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by kuonji    
>      [Working Women](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/358397.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by kuonji    
>      [Never Again](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/413527.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by Nicky Gabriel  
>      [In His Shoes](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/212116.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by Allie  
>      [Adieu](http://community.livejournal.com/starskyhutch911/284334.html) (Starsky & Hutch), by Vedette Ciel  
>      
>  


End file.
